quotes taken out of context

in classic regression to college mode, i've decided to resurrect this in my life to bring you the following overheard statement by a forever 21 employee:

"my boyfriend & I always start at the same time but he's always done waaaaaay before i am."

(snarky aside by me: hahaha i bet!)

i was working on writing something that was supposed to be meaningful but then sort of lost momentum. i miss messy summers even though the heart of the reasons for having messy summers in the first place have always been depressing. i guess what i meant to write was just going to be a more contemplative way to say the latter (read: elliptical nonsensense). being a grown-up apparently means bearing the same hardships and sadness (if not more) as when you were younger with fewer opportunities to do stupid, fun shit to make you forget it.

so that explains it...

I am not the world's leading expert on emotional maturity. I find that PJ Harvey song about mutilating dudes to be emotionally useful, on a more or less continual basis. But I will tell you this: The moment you, the female listener, break up with your internal Rivers Cuomo, the moment you renounce this particular mode of male expression and declare it no longer desirable or cute, the moment you no longer confuse the feeling of wanting to take a boy home and make him soup and somehow fix all his problems via blow job with love, is the moment that you're free. Because, at that point, you no longer care so much about his feelings. You still care, of course, about those. But never more than you care about your own.

-From Sady Doyle's piece "Rivers Cuomo Messes you up Forever"

new orleans was just what i needed, a break from reality that i, arguably, deserved. i ate my personal weight in fried foods, pralines, and seafood. pants are now a struggle but that's ok. i love wandering around other cities and finding quiet moments when life seems simple and beautiful. i apologize that i can't find a better way to describe how i feel without resorting to personal ads-like platitudes. i miss the smell of honeysuckle with every breeze. i miss jazz on street corners, worn-down music halls, and men singing sam cooke songs at 2am on the uneven brick sidewalks. i even miss the dense humid air. how do i miss something i only knew for a little bit? this is a question i often ask myself in regards to various things in my life. i'm starting to think i need newer things to miss.

anyways, my break is over. tomorrow i start peds. last rotation of the year. soon 3rd year will be over and 4th year begins. it simultaneously feels like i want everything to be over but at the same time, i need more time to figure it out.

i think it's high time i figure out a way to move into the deep south and live out my scarlett o'hara fantasies in my iron lace, gingerbread trim dream mansion. velvet curtain dress optional.