bummer part II

they really should have taught me this shit like a year ago. oh wait...

also, i am no longer just losing my mind but also physical stuff. in the last month i have lost my pager (resurfaced), my watch (sadly probably gone for good), various papers, dozens of pencils & pens, abandoned books all over the hospital only to retrieve them hours later, and today, left five dollars at the supermarket.

i can't seem to keep track of anything anymore. it actually goes above and beyond my usual forgetfulness. this is the part where i remind myself, for the love of god, if nothing else, please REMEMBER TO SIGN UP FOR YOUR STEP EXAMS BEFORE YOU GO TO NEW ORLEANS. i need to get out of med school as fast as possible even if residency is worse. all this idling around and pseudo-responsibility is driving me crazy. i wish i had become a food chemist.

on the bright side, i am soooooooo looking forward to spring break.

bummer

i fell asleep at 9/10 last night with the TV on some shitty reality show. i briefly woke up at 3 then 6 but didn't really wake up til 2. from 11 to 2 i had that restless sleep where you don't want to get out of bed but you're only half sleeping. i had some weird dream during the night, possibly about a boy that doesn't exist with some odd romantic undertones. it mostly made me uneasy.

when i finally got out of bed i had this weird flank pain and ab pain like i've been working out but obviously i haven't done so. i also had a headache which i thought was from caffeine withdrawal but coffee didn't help. i still have body pain and a headache. i took a long walk which was nice now that the weather is so lovely. along the way, i found some immigrant enclaves to hide out in in the future.

then i came back to my apt and had this intense feeling of hawk fear. now i'm struggling to study. life is not bad per se but i have this funny feeling.