whenever my life starts feeling like it is stable, things arise to make it quietly unbearable. worse, it is always the same things. once i had been accustomed to the territory of conflict but with time i have let myself recede from the greyness of the past, letting the lingering pain dissipate as i fled. but i return again like thick fog descending upon a war-torn city. the clarity of day that my eyes have seen becomes lost. i wander through.