once everything settles down...once i'm done with school, once i'm working--paying for my own shit and being an adult--what then?

it's getting closer & closer to a point in time when i will need to have an answer for this. i've split my life into so many compartments of objects, actions, concepts, and people; studying medicine has been the steadiest artifice that i've been able to carry this out.

but i can't sustain it. i can't manipulate this one tired excuse forever.

what am i going to do with myself once the greatest stress and burden in my life...is just me?