Hey Philly

Leaving from work today, I watched the dark clouds skim the low-lying skyline. A clap of thunder, for a moment, a bright wire of lightening connected the earth to the sky.

I thought at the time: how beautiful, how ordinary. It crossed my mind that this might mean something but maybe not. Finally, I may be growing up to be the kind of person who is not so eager to find denouement in everything.

This'll be my fireworks this summer.

"Riding for the Feeling" Bill Callahan (Apocalypse, 2011)

It's never easy to say goodbye
To the faces
So rarely do we see another one
So close and so long

I asked the room if I'd said enough
No one really answered
They just said, "Don't go, don't go"
Well all this leaving is never-ending

I kept hoping for one more question
Or for someone to say,
"Who do you think you are?"
So I could tell them

With intensity, the drop evaporates by law
In conclusion, leaving is easy
When you've got some place you need to be
I'm giving up this gig for another season

With the TV on mute
I'm listening back to the tapes
On the hotel bed
My my my apocalypse

I realized I had said very little about ways or wheels
Or riding for the feeling
Riding for the feeling
Is the fastest way to reach the shore

On water or land
Riding for the feeling

What if I had stood there at the end
And said again and again and again and again and again
An answer to every question
Riding for the feeling

Would that have been a suitable goodbye?

illogical responses to potentially life & death situations

So last night around 2:30 am, my sleep was interrupted by a knock on the door. The knock becomes louder and I hear a man say "Fire department!" I'm pretty groggy so it takes me a minute to make my way out of bed and to the door. As I open the door to the stair hallway, I see a firefighter holding an ax and a bunch of firefighters behind him.

Here's what I learned from this experience:

1)When confronted by a band of firefighters in an unclear situation in the middle of the night, my first response will be to think "I'm not wearing any pants. If they make me go outside I'm going to be cold" and then proceed to my bedroom and put on a sweater.

2)My second response will be to then follow the firefighters as they go into my living room and think "This apartment is so messy, I really wish I had cleaned up before they came." At that point I will also think, "This sweater is useless, I hope I don't accidentally flash these firefighters."

3) It will take the firefighters about a minute of a person following them before one of them will finally say to one of the others "Maybe we should tell her what's going on...?"

Anyways, everything is fine. Apparently my landlord's carbon monoxide detector had gone off repeatedly and the fire department had been called. False alarm (something which I wouldn't even know about because my CO detector lives in its packaging underneath my bed and the battery from my smoke detector has been gutted by me.) It's comforting to know though that if I'm ever at risk of fiery death or toxic inhalation my first priority will be to cover my lady bits.

on being 25

twenty-five feels like an oddly tailored suit--this shit is on but it just doesn't feel right. my only agenda at this age is to start wearing more choice cuts from my vast collection of stripper shoes.

also, i am typing this while wearing a faux fur stole inside my apartment.