killing me softly

in another incarnation, i would've waxed philosophical about my plants dying but shiiiitttt, i ain't got time for that now. this is my fourth (fifth?) set of dying bamboo plants. i don't think i'm cut out for this whole "caring for living things" fiasco.

staying up to worry about step 2s. why didn't i do this earlier? now i'm fucked. staying up to chain-smoke even though i have to pre-round in like 3 hours. ugh. why can't i even use this time to study? trying to parse out the remaining 2 hours i have for sleep between showering and skeletonizing this stupid note which i'll probably either be pimped on or ignored for. should probably fix my schedule or plan to. i'm not doing it. what is wrong with me?

i can't believe i've been here for almost a year. in the most literal sense, it used to seem darker at nights when i first moved here. i can't tell if it's light pollution or just due to the purplish hue of the sky from all the rain but it seems different. maybe it's just different.